Last Friday was one of the worst days of my life. I found myself standing over the grave of my best friend growing up, trying not to lose it. Watching his family, who are like family to me, trying to cope with a greater loss than my own was excruciating.

We lived across the street from each other for most of our childhood and we were inseparable during that time. In high school, I was the crazy class clown musician and he was the athlete. An unusual pairing for best friends. But he was the one person who never judged me on my outward appearance and he could never beat me when we played home run derby.

He was also the last person I ever thought for whom I would be in that situation last Friday. Enduring six heart surgeries myself, I always felt like he would be in my spot and not the reverse. We had even talked about that from time-to-time when my situation was difficult and he wouldn’t have any of it. He would tell me “never going to happen.” My sense is that he began to think I was invincible.

He was a warrior in the best and most accurate sense of the term. He served two tours of duty in Afghanistan and was a respected police detective. In my mind, he was invincible. But no one is invincible.

Much of my position at the Reporter is dealing with our websites, Facebook and Twitter. He lived in another state and the day he died I was monitoring Facebook for comments on our website, among other things. All of a sudden I began to see all these posts “RIP John” and could not believe my eyes. I thought it was a sick joke. A little while later I received a message from his sister confirming my worst fears. I have to admit, I might broke my laptop that day.

The morning of his death he complained about chest pains but passed them off as something that could be dealt with at another time, even though a family member urged him to get it checked out. But after all, he was 36 years old and I bet he had begun to think he was invincible as well. Later that day he collapsed and died.

I spent the time between his death and his funeral wondering why it was him and not me. Stupid, I know. However, given both of our situations it is probably an inevitable way of thinking.

But the conclusion that I came to is not an easy one to be OK with. It is one that leaves you with “what ifs” and “only if I had…”

He was a proud person and a strong person. He always took care of his family and friends – but not always himself. He never went to the doctor. There was always a reason to put it off.

I , on the other hand, have seen twice as many doctors than reporters in my lifetime. I do my yearly checkups and monitor my health – as everyone should regardless of your current health.

The reason for telling you all of this is to urge everyone to see a doctor if you don’t feel well and you have the means. My friend had the means but not the motivation.

Chest pains and things of that nature should not be ignored. A heart attack is just one of the many things we have to be aware of medically and we owe it to the people we love to make sure that see a doctor and a dentist on a regular basis.  If you’re not going because you are afraid of what the doctor might say, I am sorry to tell you but that is exactly the reason you should go. Bad things can creep up or they can happen without physical notice.

Don’t put it off another day if you have a symptom that you’re not sure about and make sure you get a yearly physical, if not for yourself then your loved ones and best friends.

Matt Phelps is the regional editor of the Kirkland and Bothell/Kenmore Reporter newspapers.