Couples who eat and exercise together have a better chance to manage their weight and stay fit, according to a study from the University of Michigan School of Public Health. What matters most is good communication and a shared commitment to a health-promoting lifestyle.
When both partners take responsibility for their own, as well as each other’s well-being, they have a much better chance to succeed in their efforts. If those goals are only pursued by one of the partners, it can be a frustrating experience.
Married men, more than women, tend to make lifestyle changes “to keep the peace” rather than out of conviction, according to Dr. Derek Griffith, one of the authors of the study report. If men don’t like their wives’ food choices, they often make up for the deprivation when they are away from home, sometimes in form of binge eating.
“The key to married men adopting a healthier diet is for couples to discuss and negotiate the new, healthier menu changes as a team,” he said.
Typically, both men and women tend to gain a small amount of weight after getting married. Ten to 15 percent of additional body weight is not unusual during the first two years of married life.
“When you have these kinds of big life changes, your weight can go up,” said Dr. Dmitry Tumin, a sociologist at Ohio State University, who conducted an extensive study on the subject.
He found that on average married women are 46 percent more likely to gain weight than women who remain single. Men are also more prone to weight gain after marriage but even more so after divorce. After age 30, the risk of weight gain is considerably greater for men than for women when they undergo changes in marital status.
“As you get older, having a sudden change in your life like marriage or divorce is a bigger shock than it would have been when you were younger,” said Dr. Tumin.
The takeaway from these studies is that couples have a tremendous influence on each other’s health – for better or worse. It is not just a matter of who does the food shopping and home cooking but even what kind of furniture is chosen, how big the TV is and where it’s located, whether there’s room for fitness equipment in the house, etc.
One study found that even the size of the living room couch has a direct impact on its owners’ eating habits. The more comfortable people get, stretching out on the sofa or La-Z-Boy, the more snacks and junk food they’re likely to consume.
“Watching TV and snacking on junk food have become ‘complimentary behaviors’ for many people,” said Dr. David L. Katz, director of the Yale University Prevention Research Center.
While watching TV, people don’t get any exercise, they see tons of food advertisements, which stimulates their appetite, and because they are distracted, they quickly lose control over their food intake.
“It’s a perfect storm of unhealthy behavior,” he said.
The good news is that couples can encourage each other to make positive changes and lend support when sticking to a health regimen gets tough. Both partners should also be patient and forgiving when some of the inevitable lapses occur.
Instead of trying to “revolutionize” their entire lives, people should take on one or two manageable changes at a time. For instance, instead of tossing out a spouse’s less-than-healthy but beloved stash of snack foods and replacing it with green vegetables, it can be more helpful to add a few more nutritious items here and there and allow for a phase-out period for the rest.
The same goes for exercising. It makes no sense to start out with a bang when one or both partners haven’t been physically active for a while. If one is in worse shape than the other, consideration and patience are most important. Mutual encouragement and shared successes over time will lead to better results.
Last but not least, it is extremely important to acknowledge and applaud each other’s progress. Being seen by one’s partner as attractive and desirable is a crucial element of marriage that never changes. If wanting to look great in sexy lingerie or to make her melt in your strong arms is all the motivation you need, then that’s the way to go.
Timi Gustafson R.D. is a clinical dietitian and author of the book “The Healthy Diner – How to Eat Right and Still Have Fun”®, which is available on her blog, “Food and Health with Timi Gustafson R.D.” (http://www.timigustafson.com), and at amazon.com. You can follow Timi on Twitter (http://twitter.com/TimiGustafsonRD) and on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/TimiGustafsonRD).
