A lot of things go on at school. Bullying is one of them. When you were a young child you might have thought you were bullied when your friend didn’t play with you at recess, or when your sister called you selfish.

I talked to Gwen Glew, a pediatrician who has studied bullying, and she said that the real definition of bullying is mean or negative behavior repeated over time.

“One definition of bullying is when someone thinks they have more power than someone else,” said Glew. What is common to see in bullying is gossiping, teasing, beating up, and social isolation aimed at someone with less social power than the bully.

Girls and boys tend to bully differently. Girls tend to bully in social ways, while boys usually are more physical and violent. Boys may kick each other, punch, hit, or get into name calling. Girls usually bully by doing something more social.

For example, they might gossip or do something called social isolation, which is when people don’t listen to another girl or leave her out for a period of time.

Both the victim and the bully have long-term consequences. Victims feel angry, upset and powerless.

But bullies pay a price, too. “Bullies are six times more likely to go to jail in their lifetime,” said Glew.

Bullying can occur in many different scenarios and places. The most common places bullying can occur are at school in the hallways, bathrooms, playground, bus, or anywhere where there is not a lot of adult supervision.

Bullies often have good social skills and are  very intelligent. “Bullies enjoy watching people suffer and are drawn to these people,” explained Glew.

Some kids want to be friends with bullies because it makes them feel powerful and more secure that they won’t be bullied themselves.

Lots of schools have programs that teach kids how to recognize bullying, including the Lake Washington School District.

Glew said when somebody feels they are being bullied, it usually takes them by surprise. What can help kids stand up for themselves is to remember this phrase: walk, talk, squawk. They should walk away, tell the person they don’t like it or make a joke out of it, and they can “squawk” by telling someone what is going on.

If you see someone else being bullied, don’t be a bystander. Instead, be an “upstander” and stand up for someone else by telling the bully to stop or by telling a teacher or parent. Let’s all do our part to fix the issue of bullying by speaking up!

Allison Hoff is 9 years old and lives in Kirkland.