A few weeks ago I read an article in the New York Times about a boy who had been struggling and was being mentored. His mentor guided him and provided him the resources he needed to succeed in school. I found the article very interesting. It got me thinking about teens and adolescents in the Kirkland and Eastside area who were struggling. Teen Link, an organization that was created to provide a safe environment for teens defines at-risk youth as “children and young adults who are prone to becoming involved in crime, domestic abuse, drugs and alcohol, early pregnancy, school-related problems and suicide.”
I have always assumed that in a well-heeled town like Kirkland there couldn’t be many teens on the wrong track. But after talking with Kristie Neklason, the Director of Substance Abuse Services at Youth Eastside Services (YES), I learned that teens can be struggling no matter where they live.
Neklason told me about some of the reasons that teens may be making bad choices. Adolescents may find themselves facing emotional issues because of their parents’ divorce, a move, a death, a change of schools or anything else that causes pain or distress. These problems often lead to difficult emotions. When a teenager doesn’t know how to handle their emotions, they often act out.
“One thing leads to the next,” explains Neklason. “The longer people ignore their feelings and distract themselves from the problem, the more the situation escalates.”
Neklason certainly makes a good point. Hearing what she said made me think of the phrase, “a stitch in time saves nine.”
I mentioned this connection to Neklason, and she came up with another great analogy. She explained that when you have the tools and resources you need to mend a wound, you will recover quickly, but when you lack the resources, the wound will only get worse. This analogy helped me understand that internal wounds can cause a lot of damage, and without the help you need, things can get out of hand.
YES is one of the many resources that is located on the Eastside for struggling adolescents and families, helping thousands of people each year. In addition to raising awareness through school presentations, YES also offers skills and support groups.
For instance, YES provides classes that educate teens about problems such as drugs or alcohol. Another example is the sixteen week Dialectical Behavior Therapy class that covers core mindfulness skills, which help teens to control and regulate their emotions with a goal of making healthier decisions. The class also teaches relationship and stress management skills.
Kirkland Teen Union Building (KTUB), is another organization that provides a safe place for teens to hang out with other kids their age, learn new things, and acquire the skills they need to be prepared for the outside world. KTUB offers a wide variety of resources, including help with writing resumes and preparing for job interviews. They also help teens with obtaining the certification requirements for a food handler’s card, which allows them to serve food. At KTUB, teens can spend time with their friends doing hobbies.
From a dark room for silk screening and photo producing to a tech lab and a sound studio – KTUB has something for everyone. On Fridays, KTUB offers a Teen Feed, where kids can drop in and have a free meal.
“We bridge the equity gap,” said Natasha Gupta, the community coordinator and career advisor.
Teens around the country are facing problems, and sometimes in can be hard to confide in someone.
Teen Link is a confidential, anonymous and non-judgmental telephone help line answered by trained teen volunteers each evening from 6-10 p.m. The service was created to provide teens with someone safe and understanding to talk to. From early pregnancy problems to eating disorders, Teen Link is here to help.
Often outsiders, or people who are not familiar with how teens may react to difficulties, would say that it is stupid for someone to try and solve their problems by making poor choices. But after learning more about teens who are struggling, I understand how this could happen. Kristie Neklason, from YES, explained the snowball effect that can occur when teens face everyday problems that go untreated. She gave an example of someone she had worked with. Names have been changed.
Sue was 14. Her family moved twice over the course of a few years and her parents got a divorce. She went to five different schools. In her last school, she was looking for support and the only people who would accept her were the kids making poor decisions. Sue got caught making bad choices herself. She talked to the school counselor and realized how upset she was. The last couple of years had been very difficult for her. When she had someone to talk to, Sue started to make better decisions. She now meets with a YES mentor once a week and her family has learned to communicate better. Everyone in Sue’s family realizes how they had been affected by the events of the past couple of years. They learned to work together and make things better.
This story helped me understand how teens can be swept into doing something they may not have done under a different set of circumstances. I believe that in the moment, when someone is trying to fit in at a new school, it can be hard to turn away from a group of kids who is accepting you, even if they may have a bad influence on you.
Sometimes when your family is going through a tough time, it can be hard to work together and communicate. We are very lucky to live in an area with so many valuable resources to help teens and their families. And remember, when you’re facing a complicated situation, “a stich in time saves nine!”
Allison Hoff is an 12-year-old Kirkland resident.