I wasn’t sure I wanted to start my own business. It’s a scary thought. What if I don’t get any clients? What if I don’t get paid by the clients I do get? What if I can’t feed my child? What if … what if …

All this could happen, if I follow my dream of starting my own business.

Someone told me to visit the Kirkland Chamber of Commerce. They said it would be a great way to figure out if there is a need for my type of business.

The next event was an After Hours event. It’s when a current chamber member hosts a party for other chamber members. They come to mingle and learn more about the host company. It’s a two-hour event with food and drinks. It’s a party atmosphere.

I like parties. I like food. I like drinks. What could go wrong?

It was the day of the event. I could feel my nerves building up. I was losing interest in food. I was going to this party … alone. What was I thinking? I sat in my car staring at the building. Am I crazy? What are you going to say to these people? These are successful business owners. You don’t even have one client. What could you possibly have to say?

I made the decision. I’m going in! I gathered my composure and walked in. There were about 25 people all talking, eating, and drinking. I spent a great deal of time checking in. I was in no hurry to go stand in the corner by myself. I got my name tag, walked over to the coat room, and slowly took off my coat. I checked my cell phone to make sure I didn’t miss any important calls while walking from the car to the building. No calls missed.

I looked up and saw a man walking towards me. My stomach tightened with each step. Yet I managed to put up a smile. With his hand extended he said, “I am Ted. I don’t think I have seen you here before. What company are you with?”

I said, “I am Diana, with Small Business Accounting. I recently started my own business here in Kirkland and wanted to check out the Chamber.”

Who just said that? I thought.

We stood talking for a few minutes. He gave me his card. I gave him mine. I told him what I do. He told me what he does. This isn’t so bad. I can do this. It’s just talking. I know how to talk.

I walked over to another man and started a conversation. Come to find out he was a CPA looking for someone like me to help him with a client. He turned to the woman next to him and said, “Diana is a bookkeeper looking to join the Chamber.”

The woman looked at me and said, “Really? Can I get a few cards? I am looking for a bookkeeper to help me with a project.” She was a CPA as well.

I had been terrified to walk in the door. I felt I was entering the lion’s den, alone and unarmed. But I did it anyway. I realized that day being afraid of doing something makes you human. Doing it anyway makes you a small business owner.

Diana DeAndrea-Kohn is a small business owner and writer in Kirkland. For writing projects you can reach her at Diana@writingilluminated.com or www.WritingIlluminated.com.