The word stranger is hard to define to very young children, so begin with non-threatening dialogs about who is a stranger and who is not.

“The lady in the store was nice, but we didn’t know her so she was a stranger.” “Those people are good friends of mom and dad’s from out of town, and so they are strangers to you, but mom and dad know them so they’re okay.”

We don’t want to destroy a child’s trust in the world as a relatively safe place by scaring them at too early an age.

The best thing to teach your child is that they must never go with ANYONE, stranger or not, without mom and dad knowing who they are with. This takes out defining “stranger” as an issue while creating a concrete rule that young children can understand.

Tell your child that if someone is asking them to go with them, they must always tell their parents or caretaker first (again, it doesn’t matter if it’s a relative or a stranger, the child must always let the parent/caretaker know).

If a person tries to get them go without telling, that’s when they need to get away from that person (it’s okay to bite, scratch, scream and kick if someone grabs you that you don’t know) and to tell their parent or caregiver what’s happening immediately).

If a child is grabbed, teach them to yell “Help, help, you’re not my parent!” (bystanders will assume the child is just having a tantrum otherwise). The more noise and commotion the better.

The leash is short. Very young children are not capable of distinguishing who is safe and who is not. You can act out scenarios and talk about strangers, but very young children do not have enough experience to reliably identify a dangerous situation.

Keeping your eye on them and staying close are the best safety rules. As children get older, “stranger” becomes an understood concept. The child becomes more emotionally resilient and is able to discern situations better.

Then you can gradually begin to give the more scary news about strangers and why children need to be careful.

Very young children are prone to becoming overly scared, anxious or will have nightmares if the message is too harsh too soon.

Karen Pettersen is the owner and director of Morning Star School, Inc. located at 7620 NE Bothell Way in Kenmore and in Woodinville off Woodinville-Duvall Rd.  For more information, please call 425-486-9333, or visit the website at www.morningstarschool.com.