There is no doubt that kids today experience more stress. Some of this is simply due to the faster pace of our society. Sometimes stress is due to family issues like divorce, substance abuse or violence. But more often what’s stressing our kids these days is the race to be the best — in school, sports, and standardized testing.

Too many kids are coming to counselors and places like Youth Eastside Services anxious, sleep deprived, depressed, and abusing alcohol or drugs.

Too often the stress they are trying to escape stems from the pressures surrounding academics and the unmanageable time demands of extracurricular activities and sports.

So what can we do as parents? Any attempt to force your teenager to finally go to bed, or curtail activities, is likely to be met with a fight you’ll lose. However, you can minimize stress at home and encourage healthy attitudes. Following are some tips to keep stress manageable with any child, but especially an overachiever.

Resist the temptation to log into web-based grading to check on every assignment. One of the biggest stressors for kids is a parent’s constant attention on grades.

Keep things in perspective and encourage your child to do the same. The most important thing is a child’s health and wellbeing. The “right” college or a bigger paycheck isn’t going to ensure that they will be happy in life.

Let your son or daughter know it’s okay to fail now and again. Recent studies show that kids perform better in school and feel more confident if they are told that failure is a normal part of learning.

Let your home be a refuge. Encourage your children to have friends over, decorate their rooms in ways pleasing to them and spend time just enjoying life at home. Don’t overload kids with chores and demands, or they will likely spend time elsewhere.

Encourage rest (at least eight hours a night) and good nutrition. Try to prepare a family dinner as often as possible, and keep the house stocked with healthy snacks and quick meals to re-heat.

Keep a routine and avoid over-scheduling your kids from an early age. Always make sure you allow time for unstructured play, and avoid having kids in more than one activity at a time. For example, if your son plays a musical instrument, let him take a break from lessons when he’s doing a sport.

Set a good example with your habits — disconnect from electronics and participate in stress-reduction activities like listening to music, exercising or doing yoga. Encourage children to find activities that help them feel calm.

Finally, talk with your children. Let them know constantly that they are loved no matter what grades they bring home. Encourage them to let you know about other issues in their life like bullying, relationship problems, fears and hopes.

There are numerous emotional and physical disorders that have been linked to stress including depression, anxiety, drug use, heart attacks, stroke, cancer and a weaker immune system. That’s why keeping stress minimized could be the best thing you can do to help your child succeed — today, and for a lifetime to come.

Patti Skelton-McGougan is executive director of Youth Eastside Services (YES). YES is a nonprofit organization and a leading provider of youth counseling and substance abuse services in the region. Since 1968, YES has been a lifeline for kids and families, offering treatment, education and prevention services to help youth become healthy, confident and self-reliant and families to be strong, supportive and loving. While YES accepts insurance, Medicaid and offers a sliding scale, no one is turned away for inability to pay. For more information, visit www.YouthEastsideServices.org.