Tailgaters, the bane of courteous drivers … how to cope? Apply for vanity license plate: BACK OFF (not available). Maybe U2CLOSE? Bingo! To clarify meaning, a bumper sticker – top line: NO TAILGATING; bottom line: THE CLOSER YOU GET, THE SLOWER I GO … with caricature of impish turtle.

Friends and family say it’s inviting harassment. So? I love tormenting my tormentors.

Warren Wilson, Kirkland