As a criminal defense lawyer fluent in the law of self-defense and domestic violence, and one who loves to plop himself recklessly in the middle of controversies, I ask about Ray and Janay Rice: is it ever OK for a man to hit a woman?
The legal answer is “yes.” It is legal if it’s in self-defense or in defense of others. There is no gender exception to the right to self-defense. If men couldn’t use self-defense against women, that would violate equal protection.
Was Ray Rice exercising legitimate self-defense? Everyone seems afraid to ask this question. Not me.
Let’s get hypothetical. What if a woman is about to stab my child or has a brick in her hand and is coming at me? What if I was dating a female boxer or judo expert and she came at me after slapping or spitting on me during an argument? What if I’m in a wheel chair, I can’t hit a woman assaulting me?
I understand the idea that most every man is stronger than most every woman. But this is factored in via the “proportionality” and “reasonableness” prongs of self-defense analysis. Many say a man is stronger and should restrain her rather than hit her – perhaps. Self-defense cases are very fact specific. It depends on the particular man and the particular woman.
A possible self-defense claim may have played a part in Mr. Rice getting the seemingly “light” sentence of a “deferred sentence,” where the criminal conviction is dropped off your record after a couple years.
I’m not blaming Janay because I don’t know all the facts here, but if she spit on Ray and hit him first, and if she’s an athlete and if she’s about his size (although probably much less muscular and strong than the NFL running back), and if there was a mutual attack as the police report stated, he conceivably could claim self-defense.
But you say, the knock out left hook was overkill and disproportional – perhaps. Ultimately a jury decides this. But this case settled via a plea bargain.
And yes, I understand culturally, it may be an uphill battle to convince a jury that a man can reasonably use self-defensive force against a woman, but he can, if it meets the elements of self-defense: an imminent threat coming right at you now, and you use proportional defensive force and your force was overall reasonable.
Some will call me an unmasculine coward for saying this. After all, boys are taught “never to hit girls.” But this is not the law.
Men do sometimes get abused by women, and there’s a much larger stigma and shame for a man to report domestic violence than there is for a woman to report because our culture says a man battered by a woman is weak and not deserving of respect.
If the elements of self-defense or defense of others are met, a man can legally hit a woman. I’m just sayin’.
Jeff E. Jared is an attorney and political writer in Kirkland.
