Let’s face it: this year is going to suck. People are being warned that the U.S. economy is going to produce a GDP comparable to that of a third-world hillside village. Everyone is afraid of losing his or her job – even Super Bowl-winning NFL coaches. And above all, Costco has stopped selling sugar-free Rockstar energy drinks by the case. Now how am I going to get my heart palpitating?

But, I also believe there is reason to hope:

COLD-WEATHER FAN: I recently spent a week in Detroit and another in Cleveland. Why? Because just in case we fail to improve the economy, I want to see what the rest of America will look like in 20 years. Our future appears to be filled with potholes and desperation. Or is it? While in the Midwest, I experienced direct proof that God loves America and is doing everything She (sorry, my God is a woman – I’m married) can to fix our economy. And it wasn’t that I saw the outline of the Virgin Mary in the smile-lines of a tobacco-infused gas station attendant off the Ohio turnpike. It was very simple: the temperatures were below freezing for several days. Most people might see frigid weather as a damper on the economy. It’s actually quite the opposite. The icy roads create traffic accidents, or as I like to think of them, nature’s automaker bailout program. If enough cars are totaled, people will be forced to buy new ones, or at least get major repairs done on their current vehicles.

HUDSON HAWK: I don’t think I am being paranoid when I say that birds have been envious of airplanes ever since their invention. Up ‘til then, birds had cornered the market on flight. But now humans can fly, albeit uncomfortably, anywhere in the world. This leads me to believe the birds who jammed both engines of that flight leaving New York’s LaGuardia airport knew what they were doing. It was a terrorist strike. But not from Al Qaeda–from Al Ornithea. And a new American hero, pilot Chesley Sullenberger, overcame their strike and safely landed the plane in the Hudson River.

Not only are we winning the war on terror, but we’re winning the war on feathers.

FINALLY, AMERICA GETS ITS STITCHES OUT: The most important evidence of our place as a shining city on a hill is the inauguration of the first Black president. I’m pretty sure that if you look into most nations’ histories, they’ve got their regrettable evils. Ours are slavery and ‘N Sync. But how many countries can claim to have a system strong enough to heal? Very few nations can do what we just have. I have yet to see a Jewish Chancellor of Germany.

So let’s hold our heads high this year as we muddle through what will feel like an unending hell. We live in a very special country – that’s currently cold, broke, and unemployed.

But remember: We still fly faster than nature.

Jeremy Greenberg is a writer, comedian and resident of Kirkland. He is the author Relative Discomfort: The Family Survival Guide (Andrews McMeel). Learn more at www.relativediscomfort.com