Suicide is always tragic. It represents pain and hopelessness so great that death appears to be the only way out. It’s especially tragic when teens – who should be so full of hope and happiness – commit suicide. What can we as parents and adults do to help save our youth from ending their lives before they really have a chance to live them?

More often than not, youth who attempt suicide are experiencing enormous stress and anxiety and are often depressed. The stress and anxiety may be due to family issues or problems with peers. Often it’s related to school stressors. Classic suicide warning signs include:

• Increased use and abuse of alcohol and drugs.

• Giving away prized possessions.

• Sudden changes in behavior, including increased risk taking, severe withdrawal and avoidance of activities pleasurable in the past.

• Altered eating and sleeping patterns.

• A preoccupation with death and threats such as, “I wish I was dead”, or “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone.”

These warning signs become more significant if there’s been:

• A recent death or suicide of a friend or family member.

• A recent break-up with a boy/girl friend.

• News reports of other youth suicides in the community.

What can you do if you notice these warning signs or if the young person tells you directly they’re thinking about suicide?

First thing – always show you’re concerned about them. Listen without judgment.

Don’t be afraid to ask directly, “Are you feeling so bad that you’re thinking about suicide?”

If the answer is yes or you are concerned about the potential risk, seek immediate help – call YES, the crisis line, or the school counselor. It’s critical that you take action.

Encourage your children to talk to a trusted adult – a school counselor or teacher – if they think a friend is suicidal.

Remember, most suicidal youth don’t really want to die. They really want to end the pain. The tragedy is they usually don’t have the foresight to know that things can and will get better in the future without resorting to such a heartbreaking and permanent solution.

YES is planning a community wide educational program around youth suicide this fall. Look for more information later this summer at www.youtheastsideservices.org or call 425-747-4937.

Patti Skelton-McGougan is executive director of Youth Eastside Services, a community resource since 1968 for mental health treatment and prevention for all Eastside youth and families.